just thoughts

life update

2007-02-19T03:35:51Z

things are going pretty well. i have my permit...i'm in driving school working on getting my license cause i'm not the best driver. i get really nervous, but i know the more i drive the less nervous i'll be. i applied to barnes and noble, i have an interview tomorrow. the manager was very nice, he liked me a lot. i'm a lot happier now that my life is progressing. oh, and i've been working out daily, and trying not to eat fast food and drink soda. the end.

one dying wish

2006-12-30T10:03:48Z

because it cuts so deep
to see myself wishing upon melting stars
i cut the cord
i finally give in...
beyond visions of wretched smiles
and the dread that they've befriended
i have seen an end to you and i
when did "we" begin?
and a warped sense of being that i embrace must exist
and we with whole hearts yet broken words, we dream of wisdom
but i yearn only for you
you will destroy me
with words that you have never spoken...
i've drawn a picture of us
twisted within, this picture of us
yet below this world i absorb life from portraits
as long as we remain abreast of one another we will never meet each other
as long as we whisper to one another we will never fully hear each other
as long as my eyelids are weighed down by desire
and one dying wish -
i
will never
know you
when you
appear.

life update

2006-12-28T05:02:12Z

-i quit smoking cigarettes (go me!!!!!)
-i'm losing weight the healthy way (go me!!!!!!!)
-i'm lonely but content.
-i'm going to be 18 =D
-oh and i fucked my lj up but i don't care and i doubt anyone is reading this anyway YAY!
i feel like im finally beginning to grow up a little.

mmmmblahhh

2006-11-15T07:21:04Z

im back i guess,

so like

2006-09-18T04:01:40Z

being assertive and standing up for myself DOES NOT make me a bitch.
and if it does then i'm a bitch who's awfully proud of herself =]

hregrgrehgf

2006-06-19T21:51:03Z

i really, really need to get a tan.

life's gotten progressively better. i've been shopping, going to a lot of NA meetings, i've made some new friends and i got a pedicure.

i reeeally want to go on a road trip.

9603 @ 2006-06-15T08:31:00

2006-06-15T15:31:54Z

i have strep throat god dammit

9603 @ 2006-06-13T20:36:00

2006-06-14T03:38:41Z

THE EX GIRLFRIENDS STRIKE AGAIN.

time for me to start some shit.

SURVAY

2006-06-07T04:47:57Z

Start

Time: 9:30 PM

Date: 666

How long do you think this will take you(try keeping track of time when you're taking it): like 30 minutes

Basics

Full name: erin rebecca mott

Birthday: 1/6/89

Age: 17

Hair Color: auburn and blonde

Eye color: blue

Height: 5'7

Weight: 110

Color: white as snow

Religion: i believe in god but i don't have any specific religion

Nationality(s): irish, scottish, british, german

Family/Pets/Home

How many Siblings: 1 and 2 half siblings

Names: jeff, david and tammi

Parents names: becki and pat

Divorced/Widowed/Single/Together: widowed

Do you like your family?: sometimes

Favorite Sibling: ......

Favorite Parent: .........

(If only Child) Do you want brothers or sisters?:....

How many pets do you have?: 2

Names: rat and baby rat

Kind: rats

Favorite: i don't know, they're just rats

What color is your house(outside): tan

What color is your room?: white

What is in your room: tv, bed, chairs

What is your favorite room?: living room

Big or small backyard: small

How many Stories is your house?: 1

Love Life

Do you have a crush?: i have a crush on this guy named dave *blush* omfg heheeheehe!!! LOL!!!

Name: dave

Whats so great about them?: this one time he looked at me OMG

How long have you liked them?: forever

Do you think they like you?: oh i hope so

Have you gone out in the past?: yeah only for like a year or so

How long have you known them?: about 3 years

Do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend?: yeah

Name: dave OMFG I TRICK YOU he's my bferz!!!

What's so great about them?: he's funny and he understands me and he's my best friend

How long have you been going out?: a little over a year

Kissed yet?: never!!!

Aww, are you in Love?: yeah

Friends

Best friend(s): dave

What do you guys have in common?: we're both emotionally unstable, we both like horror movies and gore, we love loud music, and we have anger problems.

Do you know alot about them?: yeah

How long have you known eachother?: 3 years

Most trustworthy: dave

Funniest: dave

Nicest: dave

Most Annoying: dave

Cutest: dave

Meanest: dave god damn i need more friends

Funnest to be with: dave ....and bobby

Who you see the most: dave

Who's house you're most at: dave's always at my house

Favorites

Color: green

Food: steak or DEL YACO

Music Genre: metal

Band: oh god

Singer: jbgfmnhg

Actor: johnny depp, along with every other teenage girl on the planet

Actress: angelina jolie....along with every other teenage girl (and guy) on the planet

Movie: requiem for a dream and don't be a menace to south central while drinking your juice in the hood

TV show: south park and cops

Number: 7

Day: friday

Season: summer

Song: she wants revenge - these things

Channel: comedy central

Superhero: sea man

Cartoon Character: rocko from rocko's modern life

Drink: ice water

Swear Word: fuck

Word: fuck

Shape: ??

Flower: rose

Perfume: i looooove glow by j.lo

President: bill clinton

Animal: llama

Pattern: ???

Fruit: banana

Veggie: pea

Website: MYSPACE

Candy: twix

This or That

You/I: ...me

TV/Movie: movie

Phone/Instant Messanger: instant messanger

AIM/MSN: aim

Pepsi/Coke: coke

Green Day/Blink 182: green day

Red/Blue: red

Pink/Purple: pink

Milk/Juice: juice

Eggs/Cereal: ceereal

Punk/Pop: punk

Rap/RnB: rap

Country/Classical: sheeeesh

Batman/Superman: batman

Nsync/BSB: no

Britney/Christina: x-tina

Apples/Bananas: bananas

SNL/Mad TV: mad tv fo sho

Maury/Jerry Springer: jerry springer. except it was really funny this one time we were watching maury and there were 13 yr old prostitutes on it and everyone in the audience started crying and my friend james started crying too

MTV/VH1: vh1

Do you

Like Avril?(if you say yes...EEW): no

Drink?: not very often

Smoke?: yeah

Have AIM: ya

Watch alot of TV: ya

Go to the movies: not as often as i'd like

Wish yourself dead?: no

Wish anyone dead?: no

Stay home often: yeah :(

Often get in fights with people: not really

Talk to yourself: ya

Cry alot: no

Go to Concerts: i haven't been in way too long

Keep a Journal: just my lj

Online?: yeah

In real life: no

Believe in Stereotypes: no even though sometimes they're true

Bitch alot: yeah haha

Dance when no one's looking: yeah

Sing when no one's looking: looking or listening? yeah i do, either way

Write songs: no

Write poems: yeah

Write stories: occasionally

Have you ever

Smoked: yeah

Drank Alcohol: yeah

Gotten Drunk: yeah ew

Gotten High: yeah

Been in trouble by cops: yep

Dyed your hair: ya i just did last night

Skinny Dipped: ya

Skipped School: ya

Been Suspended: no

Had a Detention: no

Thought of killing yourself: yeah and anyone who hasn't is a liar

Broken a Bone: yeah

Had Surgery: no

Worn a Dress: yeah

Suit?: ya haha

Tie?: ya

Been in love: yeah

Said you hated someone: ya

Hurt someone physically: yes

Hurt someone emotionally(made them cry): yeah

Driven a Car: ya

Danced in Public: yeah

Talked to strangers: ya

Had sex: ya

Kissed someone(real kiss) yeah

Thrown up a rollercoaster: thrown up a rollercoaster?

Burped in public: yeah

Weird Questions

Are you aware everything is only temperary?: yeah

If you had a choice between your best friend you've known forever dying, or you dying, what would you pick?: me dying

If you only had 24 hours to live and you got to do one thing fun with one person, who would it be and what would it be?:i'd do a whole bunch of crazy shit with dave

If you won a 2,000 shopping spree to whatever store you wanted...but only ONE store...what would it be?: probably american eagle

Do you believe in psychics, horoscopes etc?: no but i still like to read my horoscope. they're only true because what they predict can apply to anyone

Most Embarassing Moment ever: getting thrown up on

End

How long did it take you: 17 minutes

Was it good?: oh yeah

Time Ended: 9:47PM

1. Initials: ERM

2. Name someone with the same birthday as you.
russ

3. Favorite fruit?
banana

4. For or against same sex marriage?
for

5. Are you allergic to anything?
cipro..the antidote to anthrax

6. Are you bisexual?
no

7. Have you ever been in a Turkish Prison?
oh yeah

8. How many U.S states have you been to?
california, idaho, nevada, oregon, arizona, colorado, utah, new york, maine, connecticut, florida...11

9. How many of the U.S states have you lived in?
two

10. Have you ever lived outside the U.S?
no

11. Name something physical you like about yourself?
legs and my pierced septum

12. Something non-physical you like about yourself?
i'm very understanding and accepting

13. Do you have any pets?
rats

14. What is your dream car?
70's vw bus

15. If you could go anywhere in the world where would you go?
europe

16. Have you ever had someone of the opposite sex sleep over?
yeah

17. Are you bipolar?
yeah. it's the cool thing to be these days

18. What dream car do you want your husband/wife to drive?
whaa???

20. Where would you want to go on a first date?
i really don't care

22. Has anyone ever sang or played a song for you personally?
yeah

23. Ever been kissed under fireworks?
no

24. Do you like president Bush?
nope

25. Have you ever bungee jumped?
no

26. Have you ever white water rafted?
no

27. Has anyone ten years older than you ever hit on you?
yeah

30. Are you racist?
are YOU racist?!

31. What song are you listening to right now?
the misfits - die, die my darling

What's your favorite song at the moment?
she wants revenge - these things

33. What was the last movie you watched?
hostel

35. Where was the last place you went besides your house?
del yaco

36. Have you ever seriously vandalized someone else's property?
yeah

37. Have you ever hit someone of the opposite sex?
yeah i punched dave when he was being mean to me the other day and i made his nose bleed :X oops

39. What's the first thing you notice about the opposite sex?
if they're hot or not

40. What's your favorite body part on the opposite sex?
payness.

41. What do you usually order from Starbucks?
hot cocoa with whipped cream

44. Would you fuck a goat?
no

45. Do you have an iPod?
no

46. Has anyone ever said you looked like a celebrity?
yeah but i can't remember who

49. Do you have freckles?
no

49. Are you comfortable with your height?
yeah.

50. Do you like someone right now?
my baby

51. How tall are you?
5' 7"

52. Something totally random [TRUTH] about yourself.
my eyelashes look fake when i wear mascara cause they're so long

52. Do you speak any other language other than english?
not fluently no

55. Have you ever ridden in a limo?
yeah

56. Has anyone you were really close to you passed away?
ya

57. Do you watch MTV?
not really

58.What bothers you the most?
strict laws

59. What are some things you really like?
dave, chocolate, food, smoking, flat iron

60. Do you like Michael Jackson?
no

61. What is your favorite movie?
requiem for a dream

62. Have you ever surfed?
yeah once

63. Do you know how to pump gas?
no

64. Do you drive?
not legally

65. What's the latest you have ever stayed out?
i've stayed out and haven't come home for days....or come back the next morning....or at like 6 am

66. Have you ever thought that you were honestly going to die?
yeah

67. Were you ever rushed by an ambulance into the emergency?
ya

68. Have you ever been dared to do something you didn't want?
ya
69. What's your favorite state to live in?
california. idahop is beautiful but it's boring. haha 69, idahop.

9603 @ 2006-06-06T11:15:00

2006-06-06T18:17:22Z

i dyed my hair last night. it's auburn with blonde underneath. i kind of like it. dave says he likes it a lot. i pierced his lip last night too. but it got way too swollen way too fast so i couldn't put the ring in. he's walking around with a needle sticking out of his lip. if the swelling goes down i'll put the ring in today. and he apologized for saying he hated me over the weekend and making me cry :)

things are getting better.

today is 666 but no one's dead yet.

california

2006-06-03T18:40:53Z

I'M CALIFORNIAN THAT MEANS...
-Our chicks & dudes are WAYYYY hotter than yours

- I say "like" and "for sure" and "right on" and "dude" and "bro" and "peace out" and I say them often.

- I know what real cheese & avocadoes taste like.

- I don't get snowdays off because theres only snow in Mammoth, Tahoe and Big Bear.

- Summers are really hot, and winters are hot too. That's the way it is.

- I can wear sandals all year long.

- I go to the Beach - not "down to the shore".

- I know 65 mph really means 80+.

- When someone cuts me off, they get the horn and the finger and they accept it and give it back, because that's the California way.

- I've been to "Frisco" aka San Francisco and have eaten fresh clam chowder out of a sourdough bread bowl.

- The drinking age is 21 but everyone starts at 14 (legally 18 if you live close enough to the border).

- My governor can kick your governors ass.

- I can go out at midnight and wear a tank top and skirt [girls]/ t-shirt and ripped jeans [guys].

-You judge people based on what area code they live in, and when asked were you're from, you give your area code.

- I might get looked at funny by locals when I'm on vacation in their state, but when they find out I'm from California I turn into a Greek GOD.

-we don't stop at stop signs...we do a "california roll"

- I can get fresh and REAL Mexican food 24 hours a day.

- All the TV shows you "other" states watch get filmed here.

- We have In-N-Out (Arizona and Vegas are lucky we share that with them).

-I have the most representation in the House of Representatives, which means MY opinion means more then yours, which means I'm better than you

-All the porn you watch is made here, cause we fuck better and thats how it is.

-The best athletes come from here

-The 714 owns your dome.

hope

2006-06-03T17:16:42Z

and then from worse, to beter

wtf

2006-06-03T07:46:20Z

it goes from bad to worse

CANCER

2006-05-31T07:22:16Z

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2006/05/25/AR2006052501729.html

MARIJUANA DOES NOT CAUSE CANCER.

mom's gone '06

2006-05-31T07:04:52Z

oh and go watch this.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=08x1GqFxNTw

no tail lizard

2006-05-31T03:21:33Z

ok so like dave's OTHER ex called my house today. and i took care of it so i dont think she'll be calling back again >:)

and then we found a lizard without a tail.

today is a sad day

9603 @ 2006-05-23T09:07:00

2006-05-23T16:18:33Z

i hate ex girlfriends who keep talking to your boyfriend and you know it's because they're upset that they left them and now that he's with you, they want to see if they could get him back so they can raise their self esteem a few points. but mostly it's just to piss you off. this is one of the few situations that makes me love being a total bitch. oh and this bitch claims that she's married too...so even if somehow she found someone pathetic enough to want to spend their lives with her, why would she be talking to her ex boyfriend?? maybe she's just sad because her "husband" wishes she was A FREAK LIKE MEEEE (god that song is so stupid but i love it) and i can't even fight the bitch because 1) she's built like a man and 2) she lives in santa ana (ghetto santa ana) and any chick there IS automatically a man. i really don't want to spend a night in ICU because of some highschool drama. i just hope she FUCKS OFF

she wants revenge is the shit

2006-05-22T17:46:57Z

well dave and i are both feeling a lot better. he was just overwhelmed but everything is really going to be alright, he'll finish his classes and then he'll just have to deal with taking drug tests so he can't like drink or smoke....but that's good for him. he's enrolling himself in classes right now. the NA meetings we've been going to are kind of weird...but i actually talked at the last one we went to. i don't understand why being sober feels weird, but i'm sure i'll figure it out eventually. so all in all life is pretty good, and i'm happy.

blah

2006-05-19T19:55:10Z

well davey's back...but he's really messed up emotionally. some really fucked up shit happened in jail and he can't talk to me about it...and he talks to me about everything. he says if he were to die it would be a relief, and he's NEVER like that. the cops and everyone in charge in jail were such dicks and stuff, they kept making fun of him and calling him a fucking tweaker and shit even though he's been clean for 6 months. and while we were in court today waiting to get his information these bitches were making fun of him. it just depressed me that i'm so upset for him and HE'S comforting ME when it should be the other way around. but there's nothing i can do or say to cheer him up anyway. plus he has like over $4,000 in fines he has to pay, fines such as "sign up fee for drug classes" and "probation officer fee" i mean wtf it's not like he asked for all of this shit. he's upset that he has to do so much work, and if he doesn't pay it in time he'll go to jail for 3 months. the only reason he took the classes and probation and all the bullshit was because of me, because he didn't want me to be lonely with him in jail. i just wish there was something i could do...

don't do drugs, don't even think about doing drugs, they fuck up everything.

HTRUHTRHYRT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2006-05-18T20:24:22Z

THEY'RE RELEASING DAVE!!!!!!! they gave him a choice of 3 months in jail with 3 years probation or drug classes and he picked the classes of course. i'm so happy!!!!! he gets out tomorrow at 6am so my mom will take me to pick him up. this worked out exactly how i wanted, plus it'll motivate him to try to get a really good job because the classes are expensive. oh my baby's getting out....i'm so overjoyed. thank you all my friends for your kind words, i'm soooooooo happy and i feel like a huge burden has been lifted. I LOVE MY DAVEEEEY

9603 @ 2006-05-17T20:39:00

2006-05-18T03:48:01Z

dave turned himself in today for his warrant's from a while back. he isn't a bad person anymore and it's so sad to see him go to jail for a part of his life he's over with. that man has come so far... his trial is tomorrow, he might just get more classes *prays* i want my davey to be alright and jail would do him no good. he's like my other half, we're ALWAYS together and even though i was with good friends today it felt incomplete. and i keep having panic attacks because i'm so worried for him. in jail you have to claim a "gang" or everyone will beat the crap out of you. and he'd have to claim woods(cause he's white) and to get into the woods you have to get socked in the face as hard as they can punch. it's horrible. plus there's more drugs in jail than there are on the streets and we've worked so hard to separate ourselves from that kind of environment. my poor davey... if my friends would please, please pray for him, even if you aren't religious. it would really raise my spirits.

but in happier news..
i've been clean for 6 months :]. and i've eaten normally every day for 2 weeks(which is kind of a big accomplishment for me) i see my doctor tomorrow and see if he can give me something for the bloating, cause not eating and then binging makes me so bloated.

the end

9603 @ 2006-05-11T18:22:00

2006-05-12T01:22:45Z

i'm in cali

don't be a menace to south central while drinking yr jucie in the hood

2006-04-28T20:38:19Z

love is a most precious thing
like a newborn baby or a wedding ring
love me and leave me, that's the story of my life
but it won't happen again, see, cause i bought a butchers knife
the next motherfucker who loves me and leaves me so quick - mhm!
i'm gonna cut off his balls and i'm gonna chop off his dick
i'm gonna shank that motherfucker - i'm gonna kill him!
he's fucking with the wrong bitch, you don't fuck me

if you hit a man, in time his wounds will heal. if you steal from a man, you can replace what you steal. always cross in the green, never in between. because the honorable Elijah Muhammed Ali floats like a butterfly and stings like a bee! and always remember my brother, one fish, two fish, red fish, blue fish, knick knack, paddy whack, give a dog a bone, two thousand, zero, zero, zero, party, oops! out of time, my bacon smellin' fine.

you ain't so tough now, little nigga. i hate your black bastards, you stink! i hate your black skin. i hate your black pants. i hate black pepper. i hate black keys on a piano. i hate my gums, because they're black. i hate Whoopi Goldberg's black ass lips. i hate the back of Forrest Whittaker's neck. most of all, i hate that black-ass Wesley Snipes.

turn that loud ass mothafuckin music down, you wakin up the fuckin babies, mothafucka. this still my mothafuckin house, mothafucka... who tha fuck is that on my porch?

and that's what God expects from his sheep, here at the greater ebenezer new revival tree of life institutional double rock on the side of the road to jericho missionary baptist church of zion! And I said mount cavalry!

you still hit like a bitch....motherfucker.

hthtrg

2006-04-02T02:02:31Z

dave and i are coming to california verrrry soon. it should be better than last time cause davey will be there. and then i can give deanne her shirt and ring bacl (<3 deanne)

thats all

now i dont know what the hell that is...but im gonna lick it anyway

2006-03-12T22:09:54Z

htndrhtrhthtrhyt

bipolar sucks but im happy right now

im doing a lot better here than i was in cali.

we bought the new house n we're moving into it soon. im so excited!!! its on a hill in the middle of the woods, and deer and moose and elk and all kinds of animals come up to the house. and it's right by a lake too, so that's going to be LOTS of fun in the summer. once we move in, dave's mom said i might be able to get a llama haha, cause they're so damn cute.

bored bored bored bored bored

we got like...a foot of snow. it's fun to play in

if you have to ask...don't.

the end :]