erin.

things are going pretty well. i have my permit...i'm in driving school working on getting my license cause i'm not the best driver. i get really nervous, but i know the more i drive the less nervous i'll be. i applied to barnes and noble, i have an interview tomorrow. the manager was very nice, he liked me a lot. i'm a lot happier now that my life is progressing. oh, and i've been working out daily, and trying not to eat fast food and drink soda. the end.

because it cuts so deep
to see myself wishing upon melting stars
i cut the cord
i finally give in...
beyond visions of wretched smiles
and the dread that they've befriended
i have seen an end to you and i
when did "we" begin?
and a warped sense of being that i embrace must exist
and we with whole hearts yet broken words, we dream of wisdom
but i yearn only for you
you will destroy me
with words that you have never spoken...
i've drawn a picture of us
twisted within, this picture of us
yet below this world i absorb life from portraits
as long as we remain abreast of one another we will never meet each other
as long as we whisper to one another we will never fully hear each other
as long as my eyelids are weighed down by desire
and one dying wish -
i
will never
know you
when you
appear.

-i quit smoking cigarettes (go me!!!!!)
-i'm losing weight the healthy way (go me!!!!!!!)
-i'm lonely but content.
-i'm going to be 18 =D
-oh and i fucked my lj up but i don't care and i doubt anyone is reading this anyway YAY!
i feel like im finally beginning to grow up a little.

im back i guess,

being assertive and standing up for myself DOES NOT make me a bitch.
and if it does then i'm a bitch who's awfully proud of herself =]

i really, really need to get a tan.


life's gotten progressively better. i've been shopping, going to a lot of NA meetings, i've made some new friends and i got a pedicure.

i reeeally want to go on a road trip.

i have strep throat god dammit

THE EX GIRLFRIENDS STRIKE AGAIN.













time for me to start some shit.

( ah go fuck yrself )

i dyed my hair last night. it's auburn with blonde underneath. i kind of like it. dave says he likes it a lot. i pierced his lip last night too. but it got way too swollen way too fast so i couldn't put the ring in. he's walking around with a needle sticking out of his lip. if the swelling goes down i'll put the ring in today. and he apologized for saying he hated me over the weekend and making me cry :)


things are getting better.




today is 666 but no one's dead yet.

I'M CALIFORNIAN THAT MEANS...
-Our chicks & dudes are WAYYYY hotter than yours

- I say "like" and "for sure" and "right on" and "dude" and "bro" and "peace out" and I say them often.

- I know what real cheese & avocadoes taste like.

- I don't get snowdays off because theres only snow in Mammoth, Tahoe and Big Bear.

- Summers are really hot, and winters are hot too. That's the way it is.

- I can wear sandals all year long.

- I go to the Beach - not "down to the shore".

- I know 65 mph really means 80+.

- When someone cuts me off, they get the horn and the finger and they accept it and give it back, because that's the California way.

- I've been to "Frisco" aka San Francisco and have eaten fresh clam chowder out of a sourdough bread bowl.

- The drinking age is 21 but everyone starts at 14 (legally 18 if you live close enough to the border).

- My governor can kick your governors ass.

- I can go out at midnight and wear a tank top and skirt [girls]/ t-shirt and ripped jeans [guys].

-You judge people based on what area code they live in, and when asked were you're from, you give your area code.

- I might get looked at funny by locals when I'm on vacation in their state, but when they find out I'm from California I turn into a Greek GOD.

-we don't stop at stop signs...we do a "california roll"

- I can get fresh and REAL Mexican food 24 hours a day.

- All the TV shows you "other" states watch get filmed here.

- We have In-N-Out (Arizona and Vegas are lucky we share that with them).

-I have the most representation in the House of Representatives, which means MY opinion means more then yours, which means I'm better than you

-All the porn you watch is made here, cause we fuck better and thats how it is.

-The best athletes come from here



-The 714 owns your dome.

and then from worse, to beter

it goes from bad to worse

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2006/05/25/AR2006052501729.html



MARIJUANA DOES NOT CAUSE CANCER.

( this will probably be updated sooon. WARNING: pr0n. )

ok so like dave's OTHER ex called my house today. and i took care of it so i dont think she'll be calling back again >:)



and then we found a lizard without a tail.










today is a sad day

i hate ex girlfriends who keep talking to your boyfriend and you know it's because they're upset that they left them and now that he's with you, they want to see if they could get him back so they can raise their self esteem a few points. but mostly it's just to piss you off. this is one of the few situations that makes me love being a total bitch. oh and this bitch claims that she's married too...so even if somehow she found someone pathetic enough to want to spend their lives with her, why would she be talking to her ex boyfriend?? maybe she's just sad because her "husband" wishes she was A FREAK LIKE MEEEE (god that song is so stupid but i love it) and i can't even fight the bitch because 1) she's built like a man and 2) she lives in santa ana (ghetto santa ana) and any chick there IS automatically a man. i really don't want to spend a night in ICU because of some highschool drama. i just hope she FUCKS OFF

well dave and i are both feeling a lot better. he was just overwhelmed but everything is really going to be alright, he'll finish his classes and then he'll just have to deal with taking drug tests so he can't like drink or smoke....but that's good for him. he's enrolling himself in classes right now. the NA meetings we've been going to are kind of weird...but i actually talked at the last one we went to. i don't understand why being sober feels weird, but i'm sure i'll figure it out eventually. so all in all life is pretty good, and i'm happy.

well davey's back...but he's really messed up emotionally. some really fucked up shit happened in jail and he can't talk to me about it...and he talks to me about everything. he says if he were to die it would be a relief, and he's NEVER like that. the cops and everyone in charge in jail were such dicks and stuff, they kept making fun of him and calling him a fucking tweaker and shit even though he's been clean for 6 months. and while we were in court today waiting to get his information these bitches were making fun of him. it just depressed me that i'm so upset for him and HE'S comforting ME when it should be the other way around. but there's nothing i can do or say to cheer him up anyway. plus he has like over $4,000 in fines he has to pay, fines such as "sign up fee for drug classes" and "probation officer fee" i mean wtf it's not like he asked for all of this shit. he's upset that he has to do so much work, and if he doesn't pay it in time he'll go to jail for 3 months. the only reason he took the classes and probation and all the bullshit was because of me, because he didn't want me to be lonely with him in jail. i just wish there was something i could do...



don't do drugs, don't even think about doing drugs, they fuck up everything.

THEY'RE RELEASING DAVE!!!!!!! they gave him a choice of 3 months in jail with 3 years probation or drug classes and he picked the classes of course. i'm so happy!!!!! he gets out tomorrow at 6am so my mom will take me to pick him up. this worked out exactly how i wanted, plus it'll motivate him to try to get a really good job because the classes are expensive. oh my baby's getting out....i'm so overjoyed. thank you all my friends for your kind words, i'm soooooooo happy and i feel like a huge burden has been lifted. I LOVE MY DAVEEEEY